In October 1992, North America gained something it never deserved: this game.
I knew that someday I would be reviewing this game. I say this because I have, countless times, proclaimed this as the WORST game ever created. I will admit, that's a pretty hefty title to bear. You might also be saying to yourself, "Oh, I doubt that this is the WORST game ever made." And you may be correct. Admittedly, I haven't played every game ever released. But I have been a gamer for 16 years, and in those 16 years, I have played good games and bad games. Home Alone 2 for the NES deserves its own category -- s**t games.
The storyline begins with the concierge alerting other hotels in the area that Kevin McCallister is using stolen credit cards and that everyone should be on the lookout for this "little vagabond". Then we switch over to our favourite criminal pair, Harry and Marv, who are on the phone, discussing plans with some fellow named Lefty Looie to also capture McCallister. I'll bet Looie's just thankful that he is not appearing in this game.
I hate telephone booth graffiti!
As you can tell, these are ugly renderings of characters from the movie. I'll bet Joe Pesci was pissed off after seeing himself in this game. Yet after this moment of cinematic genius, we are ready for the actual game! Hold on to your chairs, folks!
Immediately upon entering the first level (in a hotel, which actually has many floors, most of which you'll never reach), you are being chased from behind by a bellhop, who strangles you upon contact, as you can see in the illustration below. Of course, if you manage to escape from his treacherous grip, you will likely get injured by other foes, including a strange hopping old lady waving an umbrella, or a vacuum cleaner gone awry. Oftentimes, it's practically impossible to avoid certain hazards (the old lady will get you... trust me...) and thus, the game can already be seen in an unfavorable light. Of course, all you can really do is run and jump. You can attain weapons, but they're not particularly powerful, and your best bet would be just to attempt to dodge everything (at least until you come across a boss of some sort).
Home Alone 2: Now available in both choking and suction flavour!
As you can tell, the graphics are somewhat corny (especially the sprites). Your character looks like someone dropped a floppy omelet on his head. The animation when Kevin gets caught in the vacuum cleaner definitely deserves some applause though. Yet they do not improve anywhere in the game, and as you can tell from that excellent cinematic sequence, there wasn't much of an ambitious effort to upgrade the graphics to the standard of the time. By 1992, great visuals were coming from the NES... so why did this game pretend that the NES couldn't handle such things?
The sound also stinks. The music is somewhat tingey and it feels like it was composed in a matter of minutes. It tries to bring the soundtrack from the movie to the game, but it fails because it sounds so poor. As for sound effects, there aren't many of them, but the one that stands out is the "cowbell" noise you hear when the bellhop rings your neck; that's gold! Oh wait... that's the SNES version! You get nothing here! POOR!
The developing staff of this game must have been really drunk when they made this. It proved not only that a video game can make a grown man weep, but also that the Nintendo Seal of Quality stood for absolutely nothing. Clearly, not a single soul at Nintendo played this game before its release. I doubt anyone at Nintendo played it after its release either, or else they'd have been smart enough to petition to wipe retailers of this skunky burden. And if you are secretly hoarding a copy, then you should do something about it now! If you live anywhere outside North America, consider yourself extremely lucky. You didn't get this game, and we suffered for you. Frankly, you owe us for saving you from this garbage bombshell!
