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Something has been bothering me a lot lately, and I really want to talk about it. It’s something that happens to almost every woman you know, but men do not realize how big of a problem it is because it’s often not discussed, shoved aside as being annoying but acceptable when it makes many women afraid to live their lives and do the things that make them happy. That problem is street harassment.
I’ve been shouted at on the street by men in cars, men on bikes, and men on foot, late at night and in the middle of the day, wearing everything from a T-shirt to four layers and a coat, and I am sick of it. I’ve dealt with so many cases of street harassment I can’t count them anymore. Typically, it is just some stranger shouting from a car as it drives by, sometimes it is honking or a suspicious smartass comment from some old man that I choose to ignore, once (well, three times in a row, really) it was the same guy who would confront me in my own neighbourhood on foot or on his bike and ask me if I would date him. That time I was very afraid he might be stalking me and that I was in serious danger just walking home from school. It amazes me that many of my guy friends aren’t even aware it is a problem. Women know they are typically only confronted when alone or with one or two other female friends, women know it doesn’t happen when they have male company, women know the purpose of the activity is to make them feel uncomfortable.
Whenever someone yells, “Hey you! Yeah, you’re sexy!” I feel angry, I feel uncomfortable, and sometimes, when I assert myself and they get angry, I feel afraid for my own safety. I hope that the friends of these dangerous men know how this behaviour makes me, and many other women like me, feel, and tell these insensitive often intoxicated animals to shut the fuck up and show some respect. When friends, especially male friends, stand by their buddies and say nothing after this kind of behaviour, it sends the message that this harassment is acceptable. I hope that men can be brave enough to call their friends on their unacceptable behaviour.
Some men I know have tried to justify this behaviour saying it is supposed to be complimentary, and that if they received cat calls and the like they would be flattered. To these men I ask, “Would you feel the same if that individual were a man who was larger than you were? Would you feel the same way if people had warned you about the risks of going out at night and the very real possibility of being raped? Would you want the women you love (a partner, a sister, or your mother) to be subjected to this kind of treatment?” I think many men would answer no. The truth about street harassment is it is meant to assert power, and it needs to be stopped.
Of course, I don’t believe every man is a street harasser, and I don’t believe every man is a silent bystander to street harassment, and I don’t; believe every man is unaware of the implications of street harassment. I want to fight a behaviour, not a group of people. I look forward to the day when I know my friends, my relatives, my colleagues and myself will be able to go out and participate in our own community without being afraid to walk alone in public spaces, and everyone has a part to play in that vision.
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