| Since the departure of the McCoys and the Nematodes, Sam Waterson has been listing the recipients of various awards, and finally he has reached the award Lima has been waiting for to unleash her devastatingly evil plan. |
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| SAM WATERSTON: |
And now, the award for Most Epic Extracurricular Activity, as voted by students... |
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| LIMA: |
Oh my God! Heidi, here it comes! My opportunity to finally ruin Antoinette! |
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| HEIDI: |
Oh no... Lima, what are you going to do now? |
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| SAM WATERSTON: |
...the Sam Waterson Secondary School Toenail Club! Accepting the award are the three founding members -- Antoinette St. Pierre, Heidi Glockenspiel, and Lima... er, heh, the writing gets a bit smudged here... is that a six?! |
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| Lima, Heidi, and Antoinette file down from the bleachers, excited to receive their award, but none more excited than Lima. |
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| SAM WATERSTON: |
Congratulations, girls! Is there anything you would like to say? |
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| LIMA: |
*snagging the microphone before the others* Yes, Mr. Waterson. We couldn’t have done this without the help of Antoinette, who not only was the inspiration of this club, but also is a lesbian! |
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| At this point, Antoinette has a silent, devastated expression, and the audience falls to a hush. Out of the silence comes one voice (which suspiciously sounds like Marc) saying, "Isn’t that kind of homophobic?" |
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| LIMA: |
C’mon, people! She’s gay! Isn’t that terrible? You thought she was so cool, but now she wants to sleep with women! You should be afraid! She is a monster! |
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| ANTOINETTE: |
YOU'RE ZE MONSTER! |
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| Antoinette rushes at Lima and the two begin fighting; they punch each other, pull each other's hair, bite, and scratch. Soon the school is cheering, "AN-TOIN-ETTE! AN-TOIN-ETTE! AN-TOIN-ETTE!” Finally, Mr. Waterson and the principal tear the girls apart. |
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| SAM WATERSTON: |
Lima, I don’t understand why you are doing this, but you can't just out people in front of the entire school. It's dehumanizing! Not to mention it leads to fights the principal and I need to intervene in! |
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| LIMA: |
Mr. Waterston, you don’t understand! *sob* The boy I love is in love with Antoinette! I need to stop him from loving her! I need him to love me! |
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| ANTOINETTE: |
Oh Lima! Is that what zis is about? Zis is why you embarrass me in front of ze entire school? Look, I don’t love Soy; he is stupid and ugly! Why don't you leave me alone? Besides, why do you need him to be happy? Are you always going to be some kind of shallow person who defines themselves in terms of some man? Soy is not zat special, and zere are so many things you could be doing with your life aside from chasing him around! You could be pursuing a career, travelling, or learning things zat fascinate you. You could be your own person with your own passions and interests! Lima, you are so creative, so deviant, so ruthless, so cunning -- I might hate you for being a terrible bully, but you could do great things with your life... Why waste it on heartbreak and broken dreams? |
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| SAM WATERSTON: |
I couldn’t put it better myself. Lima, you can be happy without this boy. Why let this pursuit consume your life? |
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| LIMA: |
Hmm, Mr. Waterston, Antoinette, you might have a point. Maybe there is something better I could be doing with my life... maybe Soy isn’t the beginning or the end of everything for me... |
